“Iceberg Slim”

— June 13th, 2006 —

I am pretty much an easy-going character. Not much for dramatics or a firestarter. So, it’s interesting when things like that occur in my life. I shut down. I go from being this jovial person to being a person detached from everything and everyone.

I know that about myself. When I am upset, I cannot be “helped,” your “advice” will not suffice because I won’t ask for it. Chances are you’ll never know the root of what it is that’s bothering me, only thing you will see is my demeanor and how it has changed. I believe that it is selfish of me to think that. To think that you cannot help me. I am the one who gives advice and Dr. Phil everyone’s questions, thoughts and concerns. So… for me to need you should be irrevelant, right? Right? 

Guess not, that’s something within me that may never change. It’s quite sad, actually. To not let someone in for fear of them being afraid, or not having an answer, or not caring at all. I already think in my mind that people don’t really care, they just want to hear so they’ll be able to gossip. So, I become iceberg. Cold and callous. Not towards anyone in particular, not really as a means to put off anyone, either. It’s a safety precaution. As would most people have, but I feel as if it is a gift and a curse.

I want somebody, a friend, family member, anyone to be able to hear me with an unbiased ear and to be able to make me feel better. But I won’t allow that to happen, because I’m afraid to let people too far in.

I’ve done that before, paid the price in many different ways with various people who I have let in. I don’t think that I can ever let anyone know what goes on inside my head and that is truly sad, because it’s a wonderful journey to actually get to know me.

Because the face only represents what is inside my heart.

When I am having a good time, all smiles, shits and giggle — that is truly in my heart. I am really enjoying all that life has to offer.

But when the sour taste is in my mouth, my stance, my energy, my sheer aura becomes that of a tomb. One that I be buried within until a joyful ressurection comes along.

But, y’all don’t care anyway… right?

What’s Next?

Pictures from the 2006 Summer Diversity Journalism Program and maybe a few flicks of the trip down to Columbus.

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3 Responses to ““Iceberg Slim””

  1. Skittles Says:

    where are the pictures/ i want to see some

  2. Skittles Says:

    all of them actually

  3. Kevin L. Clark Says:

    The pictures can be found on my photo album on Facebook.

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