“Break Ups 2 Make Up”

— November 11th, 2006 —

[Shouts to illseed] This post is being brought to you by Mef and D’Angelo.

I just got through watching The Break-Up with my mom. The Peyton Reed directed film stars ex-lovers, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston (or are they?!!?), as they battle for dominion of their chic Chicago condo (say that three times fast…).

While watching the movie, Luce, called me up and after our brief conversation (hope you feel better) — I had a question in my mind.

Can anyone be happy in a relationship?

The issue of having to figure out the nuances of someone from the opposite sex is challenging to say the least. Add that to the possibility of infidelity, the willingness to trust a stranger, and the complications of sex before marriage — and you have a recipe for either disaster or a happiness personified.

I know a few people who are happy: Shannon Lanier and his wife, my friend Gail and her boyfriend — Alex, Gerald Moss and Ebony Jackson, and Tara Pringle and her fiancé — TJ. It seems like they always have the answers, but yet, in reality — no relationship is perfect and takes hard work to make work. So, amidst the arguments, annoyances, and complaints — what makes a relationship worth it?

Not saying that I am against it, but even looking to the past with my own attempt at relationship. It was a beautiful bookmark in my life, but as the end became abundantly clear, the relationship took a toll for the worst. There was no humor like when Vince’s character, Gary, had a strip Texas Hold ‘Em party after Brooke (Aniston) went out on a date.

Therein lies the fear of going into another relationship with someone. The actuality that once feelings do become entrenched and a foundation is laid that it’ll crumble and another one, generally, bites the dust. I understand why most people hold onto their past so tightly. It is a memory that will forever stick with most people — both good or bad. But sometimes the bad outweighs the good.

When a person messes up in a relationship (like many have, including myself…), it can leave an imprint — sort of like a fingerprint as to what can be wrong with anyone who tries to fill that void in your heart. But can that ever be erased? Does the sins of the past allow a possible future to be condemned?

Being single, some would say, is like being free. You aren’t responsible for anyone but yourself. But while being free — are you truly experiencing ‘freedom’. Sure, you can have the one-night stands, the multitudes of women (or men) swooning to take you out for the night, but does that equal the feeling of having that one, singular, person striving to make you happy?

I don’t know. I would like to have that feeling. I just don’t want what comes with messing up. As hard as one may try not to make any mistakes, that could end up affecting the person more, for they feel like you’re putting on a front.

Life’s a dice game and sometimes… you’ll get a snake eyes or two.



One Response to ““Break Ups 2 Make Up””

  1. Lois Lane Says:

    Sad to say but you’re right….most of the time the transgressions of a past love can definitely have an adverse effect on the current loved one.

    But just like the good folks from the Haitian film entitled “Se Lavi” say….

    “Falling in love is like getting a perm… You’re bound for a little maintenance”

    lol… truer words were never spoken….

    Peace & Love

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